You don’t have to stay awake all night thinking about how to deal with family members that disrespect you.
However, we should keep in mind that tough and rude people exist everywhere. As much as it is in our power,
Our goal should be to learn how to live peacefully with other people and build positive connections.
This is the reason wisdom and patience are crucial when dealing with people in general. Acting on impulse makes us immature.
If you’ve been dealing with a disrespectful family member for a long time.
The first thing to do is to ask yourself some tough questions.
“Did you have any outstanding difficulties that you’re not aware of?”
If they’re your cousins, are your parents on good terms with theirs?
Have you ever said anything hurtful behind their backs?
Is there an unpaid debt that you’ve refused to refund that you might feel justified not repaying?
Answering these questions will assist you in making sound decisions before writing anyone off.
- How do you react to a toxic family member?
- How to set boundaries with toxic family members.
How do you react to a toxic family member?
Wisdom is the principal thing and if you lack understanding, you’re going to move through life always angry, unhappy and easily offended.
1. Pull yourself together.
If we don’t have any control over our emotions, we’re like a city without defense.
Sometimes, we are quick to speak without actively listening to other people. There could be a pain point that the toxic family member has been trying to communicate with you for years, but you’re not listening.
Upon this discovery, you’ll be surprised at how quickly the issue could have been resolved.
The complaint might have been about you spending more time with the family. Or staying healthier.
Yes, some people don’t know how to communicate in love, but it is better to take the message and leave the messenger.
Let’s look at other areas that might be a bone of contention. How about your drinking habit, staying out late.
Hanging out with the wrong friends etc I’m not trying to downplay the situation. However, it’s better to fix your own side of the issue.
If you have the solutions to these problems and it is within your power to fix them, why not fix them instead of arguing with members of your family?
If you have a health issue that prevents you from attending family gatherings, then somebody has to know to avoid family drama.
If you’re dealing with a family member that just likes to cause a problem without any provocation, sis, allow them to rant because you can’t control them.
But what you can control is how you react to the situation. Go ahead with your business as if nothing happened.
2. Don’t try to fix anybody:
You cannot fix anybody. Leave that job to God. I know you’re only trying to make the person see some sense.
But the truth is that he/she would regard you as the enemy. Have you noticed how other people have decided to let sleeping dogs lie? Give people their space and breathe.
That’s your only brother and you love him respect him totally and sincerely give the issue to God so that you can at least be alive to see him.
Sometimes pride and wanting to prove a point to other folks cause us to do unpleasant things. Let go and let God fix it.
3. Ask God for help
The king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will.Proverbs 21:1
Even if you don’t know God, His principles still govern your life. There are people who can only stop becoming a pain in the neck when you bring God into the picture.
Stop fighting battles with your strength because life is more spiritual than physical. After all, we are spirit beings living in bodies. Allow God to take over and you’ll be amazed at the results.
4. Look for someone he/she listens to.
If you have a negative family member that you’ve tried to reason with through discussions but won’t budge,
then there has to be someone he/she listens to that might not be in the family. Speak to that person to help you deal with this stressful family member.
There might be things the person knows about the situation that you are not aware of. Don’t tarnish the person’s image, but resolve the issue.
5. Keep your heart pure.
Sometimes we already have the conflict rehearsed or the fight scene made up in our minds before meeting the toxic family member.
That’s why we tend to take everything they do personally. Even a joke becomes a major conflict.
Please, renew your mind!
How to set boundaries with toxic family members.
You can’t always run from family gatherings just to get away from family members that disrespect you.
The reality is we will at some point in life be faced with other challenges and we can’t keep running from them.
However, we can set some boundaries with toxic family members which includes:
1. Don’t join others to drag them.
If you want respect, then you have to respect yourself first. Don’t tarnish their image or join in the conversation that tarnishes the images of the other members of the family.
You’ll reap what you sow!
2. Stop trying to make them intentionally jealous. (That’s childish)
Starting any conversation about your achievement just to make them jealous is setting up yourself for more troubles to come.
Who are you when all your accolades are stripped from you? Think about that!
3. Kindly state what you stand for without raising your voice.
You can show what you stand for through your behavior without breaking a sweat. If certain practices are against your moral compass, why attend?
Don’t be easily swayed. That’s why praying to God for help is still 100% the way to go. Let your yes be yes and your No is No.
4. Know what conversations are off-limits during family time.
Sometimes, low self-esteem can make us share things that are off-limits. People’s opinions about us should never be our compass.
5. Know yourself and your triggers.
Have a conversation with yourself and write out your triggers and work on them as you navigate life.
Be willing to practice forgiveness on a daily basis. The important area of any nation starts with the family.
If the family is right the nation will also be a better place.
Please let me know in the comment below how you handle family members that disrespect you.