How to Overcome Shyness and Make Friends at School

One of the most important decisions you’re going to make in life is learning how to make friends at school with the right people.

Who is a good friend?

A good friend respects you, and your choices, and is never afraid to speak the truth to you in a loving manner.

A bad friend has the power to alter our lives and God’s plan as well. Learning how to make friends is not an emotional decision.

You need a good dose of patience, alertness, and lots of prayers as well. (I can’t write otherwise)

If you’re choosing your friends based on popularity, wealth, or online following, then you are in for a rude shock. 

Because you’re going to become somebody’s object of manipulation.

Nobody is perfect but there are non-negotiables to look out for when choosing your friends.

How do teenagers make friends at school?

First, you have to fix yourself mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Before inviting someone into your world you’ve got to get your self-esteem in check and any areas of your life you might be struggling with.

Why?🤷‍♀️Because if you don’t know how to treat yourself with respect, love, and forgiveness. 

You’re going to bring toxicity to that relationship and attract one as well. You’re also going to expect them to be your ‘everything’. FYI (nobody can)

I love the analogy of creation from the Bible. Everything that man would require in the garden had to be fixed before God could create humans.

 It would have been a disaster if people were created in a world filled with darkness and no form.

Having a good relationship with yourself would be a good place to start.

If you cannot forgive yourself when you mess up,  then it will be difficult to accept the forgiveness of others.

Let’s move on!

Download this free checklist on how to make friends. (No email required)

1. Watch, pray, and learn:

Please, don’t make friends at school because you’re bored. 

Neither should you choose a friend because you complete each other’s sentences. 

The lame reason why he/she might like you is that you’re both great at maths and homework in general.

Watch the person’s behavior from afar.

Is he/she respectful to authority, intelligent, appreciative of other people’s achievements, God-fearing, and humble because humility is not a facial expression?

Or does she put other people down just to feel great about herself?

Next, ask yourself if you would be proud to tell others about her.

Or are we just using each other? A.K.A ‘friends with benefits

The reason I added prayer to the list is that we don’t know people as much as our creator does.

God can reveal the intent of a person’s heart to you. We are much more than our surface appearances.

 Good manners are also not a good enough reason to choose a friend at school. 

Have you ever heard of the proverb, “Show me your friend and I will tell you who you are”?

Pray and ask God to choose for you and you will never regret it. 

2. How do you feel being around them?

Can you freely express yourself without guilt? Run if your opinion isn’t valued or if you’re frequently reminded of your errors!

3. Is he/she trustworthy: 

I’m not asking you to go tell all your business to her. However, if she has a habit of using personal details as examples in her conversations, leave immediately.

Also, if she always wants to know everything about you but cringes when you ask about her family. Then something isn’t right.

4. Honesty:

We all need someone who can be honest with us. Finding someone who will tell it like it is and do so in love is the goal.

5. Happy about your success:

Before you give your stamp of approval, watch, and is genuinely happy about your success?

Are you at ease telling her about your successes? This person is not the right one for you if they make you feel uncomfortable.

How Do You Make Friends easily?

“.A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

1. Be Kind:

Be concerned and lend a hand if you can. Be ready to serve. Come out of your comfort zone.

Offering to give your time to others will help you observe people’s behavior up close and make better decisions if you want to be friends with them in the long run.

2. Be a good listener:

Listening to hear what the other person has to say and not giving unsolicited advice will be appreciated.

By listening, God also reveals to you the intent of other people’s hearts. If someone shows you who they are for the first time believe them.

Is she a gossip, a lifter, or a dream killer?

One of the books that have helped me when trying to build friendships and engage with people  is How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

One of YouTube’s multiple six-figure successful creators Sean Carnell in one of his videos talked about how this book helped him build a loyal YouTube subscriber.

3. Accept invitations to hang out:

Only hang out in places you are comfortable with. Don’t be a people pleaser and go someplace that abuses your moral compass.

4. Take part in school activities

If you intend to be successful in life, or you want an environment that nurtures your growth. Then choose the right friends at school.

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