Let’s get back to the basics and have an in-depth study on the question “What does the Bible say about dating?”
First, dating is not for mating but for collecting data. This is a period when a male and a female agree to collect data about each other to see if they are suitable for marriage.
They discover one another’s family dynamics, check if their values align, and whether or not their God-given missions are compatible.
The process of dating is similar to when a man makes an application to be your spouse. Even though you two met in church, the dating process shouldn’t be rushed.
According to best-selling author Michelle McKinney Hammond, we should consider three(3) major areas during the dating phase. These are fabric, fit, and finance.
Fabric in this context refers to a person’s character and knowledge of the Lord; I’m not just referring to church attendance. Is he teachable and submitted to good leadership or mentors?
Does he have the nature of Christ in him? Has his spirit been regenerated by the Holy Spirit? what are his values, and what are his strengths and weaknesses?
The second step is the ‘finance’ and you have to ask yourself some very honest questions; what is this relationship costing me?
In this relationship, am I losing my sense of self-worth, or is it pushing me to become a better version of myself? Do I even like him? Or am I just pretending so that everyone thinks I’m happy?
Is he pressuring me to have sex subtly? How does he relate with other people and how does he treat his parents and siblings?
The “fit” stage is the third area to take into account. Is he the right fit for me? Would I want to be with him for the rest of my life and gladly have children who are like him?
A preacher once said to look among your friends and choose your spouse because, in marriage, friendship is going to be one of the factors that would sustain the marriage covenant. FYI! Marriage is a covenant.
This is the reason why premarital sex should not happen in dating. Kissing is also forbidden. Why? You don’t go kissing at a job interview. Kisses aren’t promises, either.
Christians dating couples shouldn’t engage in sexual activity while dating because it might skew their assessment of the other person.
You would keep making excuses for his bad behavior because you’re enjoying the sex.
Breaking up with someone you’ve been sleeping with is more difficult because when he leaves, he takes a piece of you that you can’t get back, and vice versa.
Sex is also an activity you can never forget because you’ve formed a soul tie with this guy. That is why you’re often surprised when you display behaviors that are not you.
Premarital relationships reveal a lot about how highly you regard yourself. When something is of great value to you, you don’t put it on sale for any old Tom, Dick, and Harry.
FYI! Men don’t value the things that come cheaply to them. They love to work hard to get the things they love. Why pay for the cow 🐄 when the milk is free?
It is worthy of note that the reason we fail at relationships is that we ignore the manual from the one who created the relationship in the first place. FYI! God Almighty 👑
That manual is the ‘Holy Bible.’ The Bible reveals the mind of God about the issues of life including relationships and how we can succeed in them.
“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children.”Hosea 4:6 KJV
Knowledge and understanding are what give light. 💡 When you know the principles that govern a thing, you can hardly fail at it.
Is kissing before marriage a sin?
Yes, kissing before marriage is a sin. It is not only a sin but it’s gross to exchange body fluid with a stranger you’ve known for a few months.
“But-t-t I love him”
“I sense he’s the one.”
Sis, love is not a feeling it is a lifetime commitment to be with someone the way God intended.
what is the biblical purpose of dating?
Although the term “dating” is not mentioned in the Bible, we can learn how God expects us to behave in any relationship by looking at the examples of the men and women who lived it.
In a world that celebrates quick fixes and how quickly you can go viral, God doesn’t expect us to date with intentionality.
In the book of Ruth, the Bible clearly shows how the widow Ruth had to be patient and follow due process as required in Israel when she met Boaz.
Despite the fact that he was her kinsman’s redeemer, she didn’t run off with him or live with him. She awaited Noami, her mother-in-law, to give her specific instructions on how to handle the situation.
The Biblical purpose of dating is to be holy and set apart from the world’s standard of dating.
Our relationship should reflect Christ in every way and flee every appearance of evil.
Bible verses about dating
These are seven bible verses that state how God expects us to conduct ourselves when dating.
So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in youRomans 12:1-2 MSG
The truth is that we can only attract our kind. If you have a genuine relationship with Jesus, you can spot a fake Christian from their interactions with you.
How to Build A Relationship with God
Characters are like smoke 💨 you can’t pretend for long. Life has a way of bringing out the real you.
We should not make any relationship our idol in our lives. Our goal should be to please God above everything else.
After all, God’s design for marriage was to make us holy. It will be more difficult to keep God at the center of the relationship if we are unable to live holy lives while dating.
Don’t be teamed with those who do not love the Lord, for what do the people of God have in common with the people of sin? How can light live with darkness?2 Corinthians 6:14 TLB
An unbeliever isn’t just somebody from a different religion but someone who doesn’t believe in your principles about God or life in general.
If you believe it is not right to kiss your boyfriend before marriage but the guy you’re dating disagrees, he is an unbeliever and vice-versa.
You guys shouldn’t be together in the first place because your values do not align.
Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem,Songs of Solomon 2:7 MSG
by the gazelles, yes, by all the wild deer:
Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up,
until the time is ripe—and you’re ready.
You might still be asking, “Is kissing while dating a sin?” Yes, it is a sin because kissing stirs you up sexually.
Your hands are all over each other’s bodies as you kiss.
“But it’s just a kiss.” No, it is not.
Both of you are exchanging body fluids and forming soul ties. Let’s be patient and take it one step at a time.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.Philippians 4:8 NIV
Let’s make the dating phase temptation-free for the guy you are dating. Don’t do the things that will get him aroused sexually and you expect him to do nothing. He has blood flowing in his veins and not soft drinks.
Watching romantic movies in the name of Netflix and chilling only to end up in bed the following day is dangerous.
Nobody will be safe if you don’t establish boundaries. I realize that it seems like there are a lot of restrictions preventing you from enjoying yourself.
Trust me it is not. There is time for everything under the sun.
Don’t visit your neighbors too often; they may get tired of you and come to hate you.Proverbs 25:17 GNT
Never put your dreams or purpose for your life on hold because you are dating. Go ahead and pursue your goals individually.
You are not his wife yet so don’t act as one. Stay in your single lane and allow God to lead you.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know. 6 Remember the Lord in everything you do, and he will show you the right way.Proverbs 3:5-6 GNT
Get God and your leaders involved in your love life. They are familiar with the emotions involved because they have been on this part before.
You can’t be the only one seeing the good side and you think 🤔 he doesn’t have flaws.
Don’t be so in love ❤️ that you’re not listening to anybody because he told you to keep the relationship private. lol! 😆Run
Nobody is perfect we all know that but wisdom is the principal thing and in all thy getting get a good understanding.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 GNT
Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; 5 love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; 6 love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. 7 Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail.1 Corinthians 13:4-7 GNT
Sometimes we do not realize that there are parts of us that are made of plastic rather than iron. As much as we want a good guy, it starts with you as an individual.
Work on your weakness and learn to also make room for other people’s flaws. You’re still a work in progress.