10 Crucial Questions To Ask Before Dating or Marriage

Ever wondered what questions to ask before dating? These are deep relationship questions to ask before considering a serious relationship.

Your choice of a life partner should never be taken lightly because it can make or break you. As a result, asking the difficult questions up front can help avoid hurt feelings and conflict later on.

Don’t be afraid to dive deep—you’ll learn things about them and yourself that will help determine if this is the right relationship for you.

The answers may surprise you, delight you, or scare you, but it’s better to know now rather than later. Because knowledge is power, do yourself a favour and have an open discussion about what really matters. You’ll thank yourself for it.

What to ask before going out with someone?

So you’ve met someone interesting and are thinking of going out with them. That’s great! But before you dive into a new relationship, it’s a good idea to get to know them better by asking some essential questions.

Is he in a relationship with God?

The majority of people claim to have a relationship with God but do not. The question is, what God are they talking about? Is it Jesus Christ or the universe?

Marriage and relationships are God’s ideas, and in order to be successful in any relationship, you must first have a relationship with God.

Only through Him can we understand what love is and how to love people unconditionally. This is an important question to ask before considering dating or marrying anyone.

if your partner lacks the divine nature, they can cause you more harm than you can imagine because there is a difference between having the nature of Christ or just being morally correct.

Girl! if you don’t have a genuinely intimate relationship with God, it is better to hold up with dating anyone and discover who you really are in God before inviting someone into your life.

The truth is that there is a void in every man that only God can fill and no amount of money, connections or intellectual prowess can fill that space that God is supposed to fill in every human being.

How to Build A Relationship with God

What are your core values?

The values and principles someone holds most dear shape their character and decisions. Ask what really matters to them like honesty, loyalty, spirituality, or kindness towards others.

Look for values you have in common to build a solid foundation of mutual understanding and respect. Are they humble enough to learn and admit when they are wrong? Your values have to align don’t overlook such an important area of the relationship.

What are your goals and ambitions?

Ask about their dreams and plans for the future. Do they want a family someday? Are they passionate about their career?

Someone’s ambitions and priorities say a lot about who they are and what motivates them. Make sure your key life goals align before getting too serious.

You also want to make sure that the ultimate goal is to support each other and that it is not a one-sided relationship.

What are your interests and hobbies?

Knowing what they enjoy doing in their free time gives you insight into their personality and values. Do they prefer more active hobbies like hiking or sports,

or are they into creative pursuits like music, art, or writing? Finding common interests is key to connecting and building a foundation for a healthy relationship.

How do you handle conflict?

Another important question to ask before dating is about conflict resolution. Discover how they deal with disagreements or tension.

Do they get angry and yell, or are they able to stay calm and communicate openly? Don’t sweep anything under the rug in the name of love. If you’re not comfortable with how they resolve conflict leave the relationship.

Conflict resolution is one of the most important relationship skills, so find out if their approach meshes with your own.

What should I ask him before a relationship?

Other deep questions to ask before dating that would help you to get to know each other are:

Ask About Their Upbringing

We all have experienced trauma in different ways and how we respond to it affects who we become in life. Are there experiences that he wished never happened or

how was he able to overcome the challenges he went through? or if he is currently going through traumatic experiences and how is he seeking help?

What are their views on relationships?

Discuss what you both want in a partner and relationship. Ask direct questions about commitment level, fidelity expectations, or openness to marriage and children if that’s important to you.

See if you share similar values surrounding trust, honesty, and intimacy. Has he ever been in a relationship and how did it end and why? It might seem like the questions are a lot but creating a room for honesty will save you from heartbreak.

How do they handle challenges?

Ask how they navigate difficult times, deal with conflicts, or approach problem-solving. Discuss scenarios where you’ve each faced adversity and what you learned. Look for signs that you have compatible ways of giving and receiving support.

Having honest conversations about the things that really matter can help determine if this person is the right match for a long-term relationship.

While it may feel awkward, asking meaningful questions up front can save you from hurt and heartache down the road. If after discussing the hard stuff, you still feel an exciting connection, that’s a sign this could be the start of something special.

What should I ask in the talking stage?

When you first start dating someone, the talking stage is crucial. This is your chance to get to know them on a deeper level and determine if you’re really compatible before becoming official. Here are some essential questions you should ask:

What Does Parenting Mean to You?

There are many views about parenting that could potentially become a problem in the relationship. If his core is not god centered then he would not know how God wants his children to raise Godly seeds.

What are your values and priorities in life?

What things are most meaningful to you? Discussing values and priorities early on helps ensure you’re both on the same page about what really matters.

What are your future goals and ambitions?

Do you have a 5-year plan? A life plan? Knowing someone’s goals and dreams for the future gives insight into their drive and motivation. See if your visions align and if you can support each other.

Never date I’m planning to type of guy. That guy who talks about having big dreams but hasn’t started anything yet. He keeps moving from one job to another because he thinks everybody is jealous of him. Run for your Life!🏃‍♀️

What are your deal breakers? Are there any behaviors or situations that would be a deal breaker for you in a relationship? It’s best to discuss potential deal breakers openly and honestly before becoming too invested. Address any concerns you have to avoid heartbreak down the road.

Another important aspect not to overlook because a lot of people do is the kind of friends he hangs around with. If he is always around people who devalue relationships, then be sure your relationship will not work.


Who is his mentor? because if he doesn’t have a mentor, especially a good one he is a walking time bomb. He doesn’t have anyone who can call him to order when he is wrong. He doesn’t have anybody that he is submitted to. We all need mentorship at every season of our lives.

What’s your attachment style?

Do you tend to be anxious, avoidant, or secure in relationships? Understanding attachment styles can give insight into how you both connect with and rely on each other emotionally. Make sure the needs for intimacy and independence will be met.

What’s your love language?

Do you express and experience love through words of affirmation, physical touch, giving gifts, acts of service, or quality time? Speaking the same love language facilitates bonding and strengthens your connection. Learn how to express love in the way your partner receives it best.

Continuing to ask deep and meaningful questions as your connection grows will build a solid foundation for a healthy, long-term relationship. Make sure you’re both fully authentic and transparent with your answers. There are no “right” answers, only the truth.

What is 20 questions dating?

The “20 questions” dating technique refers to asking a series of meaningful questions to get to know someone before pursuing a romantic relationship. Rather than superficial small talk, these questions aim to reveal values, life goals, experiences that shaped them, and their hopes and dreams.

How it Works

The basic idea is that you take turns asking open-ended questions about topics that really matter to you, listening with an open and curious mind. Start with lighter questions to build rapport, then go deeper.

It’s about quality, not quantity, so don’t just rattle off 20 questions rapid-fire. Focus on follow-up questions and connecting the dots between their answers.

Some examples to start with:

  • What are you passionate about?
  • What’s your favorite way to spend a day off?
  • If you could instantly become an expert in one subject, what would it be?

As the conversation flows, ask about their close relationships, spiritual or religious beliefs, accomplishments they’re most proud of, what they value in a partner, etc. Really listen for areas of compatibility and shared values. Discuss any differences openly and without judgment.

This technique works best when both people participate fully with honesty, vulnerability, and compassion. Don’t interrogate them, but share information about yourself too, creating an open dialog.

The “20 questions” label is misleading – you may ask 5-10 deeper questions in one conversation, then continue exploring over multiple dates.

Why it’s Important

Many relationships start with intense physical and emotional chemistry, but fizzle out once the honeymoon phase ends and deeper incompatibilities surface.

Using the 20-question approach helps ensure you build a foundation of shared values, trust, and understanding before becoming seriously involved.

Some key benefits of this technique include:

•Learning each other’s authentic selves, not just superficial impressions. This leads to healthier relationships based on acceptance of the whole person.

•Identifying potential dealbreakers or red flags early on. It’s better to discover major differences in life goals, values, or lifestyle preferences right away.

•Creating meaningful conversations that bring you closer together. Discussing hopes, dreams, values, and formative life experiences builds intimacy through vulnerability and shared understanding.

•Ensuring you’re both seeking the same type of relationship before becoming seriously involved. This can help avoid hurt feelings and broken hearts down the road.

•Building a habit of open communication which is essential for a healthy, long-term relationship. Discussing meaningful topics should continue well beyond the initial dating phase.

•Gaining useful insights into your own values, priorities, and relationship needs. The questions you ask and the topics you choose to explore reveal a lot about what really matters to you as a partner.

In summary, the 20-question technique is a helpful tool for building a solid foundation of intimacy, trust, and sharing.

So there you have it, some of the most important questions you should ask before getting serious with someone.

Of course, there are many other topics you’ll want to cover, but these questions will give you a glimpse into their values, priorities, and what really makes them tick.

Don’t be afraid to ask the tough questions and have those uncomfortable conversations upfront. It may feel awkward at first, but you’ll be glad you did.

The answers you get will help determine if this is the right person for you or if you’re better off moving on. Remember, you deserve someone who will love and accept you for who you are.

So take your time, be open and honest, and make sure the important things line up before diving in too deep. Your future self will thank you!

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